Stone Turtle HealthNaturopathic Medicine and Massage Therapy for the Whole Family

I had the wonderful experience of going to a musician's memorial the other night. Dave Conant, a mentor to my partner and a friend to my partner's family, passed away ten years ago. His daughter, widow, and friends decided to hold a wild night of music and memories in his honor, providing a large part of Seattle's music scene an opportunity for remembrance and celebration of his life at Hale's Palladium, the venue for the local Moisture Festival. I only knew a very few people and was initially uncomfortable to be the odd man out, but quickly found myself enjoying the music and feelings of camaraderie I found there. It was a very touching tribute, telling me as much about his friends and family as it did about the man himself.

Last night, my partner and I got to talking about what he wanted to pass on to his son. I was thinking in terms of tangibles and he meant values and lessons. This led us to a discussion about parenting, me questioning the best ways to pass on lessons to kids at different stages of development, what values are important to pass on and how to get the message across. These kinds of discussions are ones I cherish the most with my partner; I learn more about him and come to respect him even more each time we talk about serious issues because of his thoughtful and thought-provoking musings. He had recently watched Pearl Jam's documentary "20" and came away with the idea that we, as parents, try to instill a set of "guard rails" to help our kids survive and thrive in society, but it's the kids who push against the guard rails at an early age that become breakout stars in their field.

I look around and see so many parents struggling for the fine line between being overly permissive and being resented by their kids by being too strict. I struggle with my own experiences with finding my niche in our combined family, developing a relationship with my partner's son is on my mind a lot. I love him to pieces, I want to be of support to him as he grows into a young man, I have the best intentions. Hell, I even have a degree in Human Development (with a focus on early child development) and a minor in Psychology and some of the time, it doesn't help a damn bit because I'm fumbling in the dark when it comes to our interactions. It's not my responsibility to raise him, to teach him my values. I understand that, but I also believe that as a human being I have a responsibility to be a good role model for any child in my life, be they family, friend, or patient. I feel honored that I have an opportunity to share experiences with some pretty special young people and I want to be a positive influence, something that helps them as they grow and learn to be good people.

Growing up, I thought my parents and grandparents knew everything there was to know about raising kids. I never questioned whether I was loved, I never was abused, I rarely even THOUGHT about disobeying them (though it's true that if there wasn't an explicit rule for a given situation, I might be found carving my initials in the bathroom door and blaming my sister for framing me). Now, I find myself missing my deceased grandfather because I feel he would be better able to get a handle on things in our house, he would know what to do to restore order. Or questioning my mother at dinner the other week, trying to find out what her secret was, how she got the three of us girls to do what she said almost every time just by lowering her voice and narrowing her eyes. How my father could tell us we were going to do chores and we just DID them. I never resented them and never questioned that they were doing the right thing, but I find myself envying them sometimes. How will I ever get a two-year old to put on clothes that are appropriate for the given weather? How will I keep a ten-year old from starving to death when he won't eat vegetables or food that doesn't come from a box? And, dear lord, what in the world can I do when my kids get old enough to date, to drive, to sneak out at night, to have SEX?!? What kinds of values can I instill in them that will keep them alive, happy, and successful in whatever way they define? How will I prepare them, share the best things that I've learned with them to help them in their lives?

Maybe it's too soon to be worrying about these things, without a child of my own yet, but I think it's good to have these discussions with myself, and with my family and friends, to continuously develop ways to live a life consistent with my values so that I can honestly say when I leave this world that the kids in my life knew who I was and what I stood for and that I made a positive difference in their lives.

Today, I had a great day. I got to do something small that I hope will make a big difference for someone in my community.

Back in January, I decided to donate $10 to the Ballard Food Bank for every new patient that month. I met the Food Bank's Executive Director, Nancy McKinney, at a Ballard Chamber of Commerce  After-Hours event last year and have been looking for an opportunity to help her organization as it continues to support members of the Ballard community, including some of my own patients.  I felt like it would be a great way to show my gratitude for my expanding business while helping a worthy community cause at the same time. The Ballard Food Bank distributed over 10.2 million pounds of food in 2010; over 27% of their recipients are elderly and over 14% are children. They do good work.

And they've recently moved. They're now in a beautiful and LARGE space on Leary Way, south of Market Street, in Ballard. The warehouse has been divided into an office/reception area, staff offices, a delivery area and a "shopping" area where clients can pick their food as if they were shopping in a grocery store. Clients are allotted a certain amount of groceries, depending upon the size of their family, and can shop once/week for fresh fruits and veggies, unlimited bread, canned goods, and even flowers (on occasion). This new design allows clients to have more control over the food they are given (instead of just getting a basket that someone else has prepared).

The core volunteers are friendly and helpful and the food bank is always in need of more. Peggy Bailey is the Volunteer Coordinator. She works with groups and individuals who want to help, in order to fill gaps in the schedule and support the core folks who are there on a regular basis. On our visit, we met a volunteer who is there 3 days a week! Now THAT'S dedication to your community!

After a quick tour and some photos, we were on our way back to the office. I'm so glad we got a chance to visit and I look forward to finding more opportunities to help this GREAT organization.

 Times are tight for a lot of folks right now, but if you've got some spare cans, spare time, or a little bit extra in your paycheck that you want to put to good use- please consider the Ballard Food Bank- Neighbors Helping Neighbors.

Food bank with Nancy McKinney.jpg (866.71 kb)

It's time to take a leap! The New Year is upon us and it's time for change, expanding into our dreams and reaching for success In that vein, I am curtailing my hours in Bellevue and expanding them here in Ballard. In addition to my normal full days on Tuesday and Thursday and my half-day on Saturday, I will be in the office on Fridays from 9am-1 pm.

Because of my desire to continue to serve the community that I live in, these expanded hours come at the same time as a new promotion that we are offering at Stone Turtle Health in the month of January. For every new patient visit in January, I am donating $10 to the Ballard Food Bank, a local non-profit that has been serving Ballard families since the mid-1970's. I am a strong believer in the healing power of food and support their mission wholeheartedly as they provide sustenance to local families in need. If you are a current patient, please pass on the word to your friends and family to increase our donations in the month of January.

February will see Stone Turtle Health celebrating its third anniversary in business, and our second anniversary in the Ballard Wellness Clinic. Look for more blog posts about reflections on an anniversary and February anniversary specials soon!

Wishing you and yours a Happy and Healthy New Year!

Dr. Katie Baker

So many families celebrate holidays this winter, whether it's Thanksgiving, Ramadan, Hanukkah, Christmas, Beltaine, or New Year's Eve. There's a deeply entrenched need to celebrate the good fortune of the past year, express gratitude and love for our family and friends, and shout out into the darkness that there will be a day when the sun returns with life. And there are as many ways to celebrate as there are families and individuals. Many people have a large traditional family gathering; some forgo the hoopla as they use winter as a time to reflect on their past year and their coming one, whether through formal New Year's Resolutions or through their chosen religious or spiritual practices.

In our family, Christmas was celebrated at no fewer than 5 houses, due to divorce and extended family celebrations. As exciting and energizing as the constant whirlwind of holidays with lots of cousins, even more presents, and even MORE treats, it was also quite a hassle for our parents to spend the majority of the holiday driving to the next place. As a teenager, holidays held the promise of getting to see family members I had a special connection with but were also the cause of much sighing and eye-rolling, and not a few tears as I struggled with an awkward adolescence and never seemed to be able to buy the right thing, dress the right way, or say the proper words. As a young adult, in school for an eternity, I was never able to afford the gifts I wanted to give. Rarely did Christmas measure up to the memories of my childhood (when, of course, my parents did the shopping, everyone else did the cooking, scheduling, cleaning, and party preparations). Lately, holidays seem to be about running through the stores at the last minute to cross another item off of my gift list, fighting traffic, and trying to make sure I can spend time with family and still see enough patients to make the January rent.

I'm fortunate in so many ways. To have my beautiful family, my beautiful clinic, wonderful friends and mentors who support me throughout the ugly business of birthing a dream is such a gift. I now, like many people before me, have lost friends and family who meant so much to me. Not only do I miss them every day, but their loss gives me another reminder that what I have is so precious. The past few years have been rough, but at least I'm still around to celebrate. This year, I'm planning to immerse myself in family (hold the politics & religion, please), show each of my friends how much they mean to me, not with gifts necessarily but by striving to be fully present with them and letting how much I cherish them shine through, and take some time to assess the past year both professionally and personally so that next year can be even better. What do you do for the holidays? Do you enjoy it? If not, what would you rather be doing and why?

40+ Children's over-the-counter medications recalled News story. Manufacturer website here. Updated 05/01/10)

http://health.yahoo.net/experts/eatthis/worst-kids-meals The worst chain restaurant kids' meals, from the editor-in-chief of Men's Health and Women's Health magazines.

http://www.pccnaturalmarkets.com/pcc/videos/savory-goat-cheese-and-heirloom-tomato-tart A GREAT recipe for summertime

And my dear friend, Loretta's blog on jobhunting at 40. http://lorettalee-penington.blogspot.com/2010/08/perception-is-cruel-mistress-when-on.html?spref=fb

The thought crossed my mind last night as I was reading a friend's blog post, "Why try? Why not settle for 'good enough? Why do I get so frustrated when I see people I care about decide to give up their search for the best in what  matters (or what I think should matter)?" We all settle for some things, continue to strive for others, but what is it in our minds and hearts that allows us to decide which is which? And why do other people's choices matter so much to me? Where do I "give up" and where do I refuse? Why?

For me, I "give up" on exercise because I'm afraid of spending my whole life trying and failing to be healthy, be a certain size, and be pain-free. I feel like I've set my goals astronomically high and that may just be what prevents me from attaining them, albeit in a step-wise fashion. Maybe if I set a goal to do a certain set of exercises each week, add on to that as the weeks pass, I'll be more likely to complete that goal and find the other goals (weight loss, pain reduction, etc) fall into line automatically. For me, exercise is an easy area to give up in, it's not always enjoyable, the results are not immediate, it's more of a long-term endeavor. Wouldn't it just be okay to say "this is where I'm going to drop the ball so I don't drop it in more important areas of my life"? These days, a lot of articles talk about how women spread themselves so thin, trying to be everything to everyone and to meet their own expectations. I'm sure this applies to men, too, but I can't speak from experience there. What I do know is, something's gotta give. So maybe the way to become "active" is to give up my ideas of what I have to be/do/look like in order for that label to apply to me? Maybe I can get around "giving up" by not setting such lofty goals for myself? Maybe I can get away with doing the same for housework?

One area I refuse to settle in is romance. As I entered my 30s, doubts began to creep in about whether settling wasn't such a bad idea, whether I would be able to find somone who met my lofty ideals, and whether I was even capable of achieving the type of personal relationship with the partner of my dreams. My biological clock felt like it was speeding up. Tick-tock-tick-tock.chil-dren-ba-bies-tick-tock.. I began worrying when the alarm would ring, telling me my time was up and I'd better resign myself to dying alone. But underneath that incessant beating, there has come a relaxation. A softening of the absolutes of my 20s when I would never date someone who...never fall in love with...never enjoy... While my preferences and morals remain the same, I've opened my eyes to see a wider range of potential partners who fit into them. I still refuse to settle for someone who doesn't love me unconditionally (or vice versa), someone who doesn't love themselves, or someone who is more concened about their personal profit than the future of the planet. I've learned that those who "need saving" need to do it themselves. Fortunately, the more people I meet, the more I find to like about them and the more forgiving of other people's faults I become (and my own as well).

What hurts my heart is when I see people I love actively settling for something less than what would bring them happiness. I'm not just talking about people doing something other than what I would do myself; I hope I'm more mature than that. I mean people who have confided in me that they're settling for the least terrible option without even exploring all their possibilities. I am a creature of possibility. If I'd settled for the least painful option, I'd probably have been married three times over, stayed in a job that paid the bills but killed my soul, or have given up altogether. Why does it bother me when other people choose to take the path of settling, knowing that they want something more? Maybe they find other rewards in settling, reasons why they choose what they do.

I, like many other people, have seen friends die young with their potential untapped. I've seen children die who never had a chance at the kinds of opportunites taken for granted or fearfully shied away from. A large part of my frustration, and a large part of my struggle to help other people achieve their dreams and to realiza my own, comes from grief and anger that the ones I lost never got a chance. I would say it's anger at opportunities for happiness squandered in the face of people who never got to have that opportunity. It's what keeps me moving forward and what makes me want to carry (or drag) others forward as well. I know it's their choice. I know it's their decision. My argument would be "you're only given an unknown amount of time in this form on this planet. Why wouldn't you grab life with both hands?"

So, I guess, I need to grow up, learn to let other people make their own choices and leave them be about the decisions they make. I need to stop taking such a personal interest in whether someone else has joy or is just settling for less pain. I'm working on that and I hope you'll bear with me as I learn that other people's pain is not my pain, that decisions painfully made are never without their own rewards, and that 17 minutes of a 30 minute yoga video is not "settling" but progress.

This weekend, I was excited to learn of, and attend, the Seattle Food and Wine Experience at Seattle Center. Over 100 wineries and  21 restaurants were on hand to share their creations. For the food-obsessed, like me, it was like going to fantasy baseball camp. Except, you know, no sports.

In most matters food-related, I've found myself incredibly pleased and humbled to find that Seattle is truly a first-class city and Sunday's event was no exception. I was just thrilled to be able to try dishes from restaurants I've always been intimidated by, and better yet, to speak with the chefs whose job it is to create the art that brings me such joy. I've been told by a few people that my passion for food should make me a restaurant critic, not a doctor, but how could I? I'd be hard-pressed to find a food I don't like, a recipe without some redeeming value, or a chef who doesn't enjoy what he or she does or is unable to translate that joy into a tangible creation.

Now, today is the birthday of one of my dear friends, someone who always has a positive attitude, who always seems to be just leaving for, or getting back from, some party or event and is continually updating his status on Facebook to remind us of what wonderful things he's done that he is grateful for.

I'm going to interrupt myself for a minute here. I understand that sometimes the "Pollyanna" act gets a little tiring for those around me. My closest friends know that my gratitude and the positive outlook haven't always been in evidence. I'm not irrationally idealistic. I do have a grasp on reality and am not a big fan of "manifestation" as it has evolved from some layperson's application of quantum physics to the latest feel-good craze of the self-helpers. And yes, I have mini-freakouts over things that I can't change and that my closest friends endure with grace. The subjects of these "freakouts"? Some are a product of not meeting social expectations of a woman "my age", others are too personal to go into here. I'm sure everyone has them and it's not just my own personal brand of crazy. Mostly.

That said, I've been wondering lately why I'm so happy with my life, why things seem to be going the right way (mostly, with switchbacks, dead ends, and occasional misdirection impeding the direct forward progress at times), and where this all leaves me as a pragmatic atheistic idealist. What have I done to myself that makes me wake up every morning with the first thought generally being "Today, I'm grateful for..."?Which can be a real bitch when you wake up wanting to be grumpy.

I've come to the conclusion that, for myself, I got really TIRED of feeling sorry for myself. It got boring (and probably did so a long time ago for those people with whom I shared my self-pity). I've been through a number of different classes looking for THE way to be successful, THE way to be positive and THE way to get what I wanted out of my life. I traveled all over the world, mostly by myself, to varying cultures where people had so much less than me but so much more to offer in terms of new experiences, wonderful shared meals and also, sadly, opportunites for me to see how much better off I was than some and how grateful I "should" be for the gifts in my life of family, friends, health, and having my basic human needs met. I mean, getting TIRED of something because how many times can you hear your mind tell itself the same sob story over and over again. An exercise I did in one of my classes: to write down something that had happened to you, something you were feeling sorry about, and reading it over and over again to a nonjudgmental partner until you couldn't bear to read it anymore. Mine took three recitations. Others took one, or fifteen recitations before they were done.

I have friends who see the reasons to be sad and angry, perceive slights and insults at every turn, and turn their disappointment inward toward themselves in self-destructive and painful behaviors. I wish that there were a way to share what I've learned about myself with them, but I don't know how and I don't want them to see it as another person putting them down, or confirming what they feel about themselves. But I will say that, even if I can't open their eyes to how wonderful they are, how much they have to be grateful for (which truly includes the talents and gifts that they themselves have and how much they mean to the people close to them), I'm still glad that I can continue to be grateful for them in my life. Maybe at some point, they'll realize that I'm pretty damn smart and if I see something great, maybe something great is there.

So, today, I think about how grateful I am that there are places like Perche No, Campagne, Andaluca, the Palace Kitchen, Pearl, and other amazing places where artists can share their creations with me. I'm grateful for friends who understand what I mean when I talk about food as art and as one of my preferred methods of communication. And, at the risk of sounding proud, I'm grateful that I'm a hard worker and dedicated to what I do so I am able to visit them when I can. I'm grateful for the ability to taste.

One of the factors that determines how well we cope with stress is the extent and connection of our support system. Family, friends, co-workers,mentors, and health professionals (spiritual, mental, and physical) all provide the assistance we need to deal with life's daily upsets as well as with major traumatic events and personal grief. The level to which we unburden ourselves on others can become unhealthy if taken to either extreme. While relying too much on the web of caring indivudlas who make up our community can leave us unpracticed in making our own decisions, feeling insecure, or out of control of our own lives, not taking the time to confide in another person puts us at greater risk for mental and physical health concerns, a sense of isolation, and limits our ability to truly develop sympathetic relationships with others. Finding a true balance will allow us to gain strength from those who hold our best interests at heart, who may be able to approach our own volatile emotional situations more dispassionately and provide us with much-needed objectivity. The best support comes from relationships that allow individuals the opportunity to make their own decisions but honestly reflect back the consequences of those decisions, for good or ill.

As a member of someone else' s support network, it can be challenging to provide love and support without judging, without overstepping boundaries in an attempt to help and without taking their problems on yourself or seeing them through the filters of your own subjective experiences. In many ways, though, having an opinion or a past experience that colors your interactions can be a positive thing, if you are able to frame your conversations in a way that best benefits the person seeking your advice and you don't get caught up in your own issues. Bringing a calm, nonjudgemental but differing viewpoint to the table can offer wonderful insights to the person struggling with the problem. In the end, everyone has to make their own decisions, in their own time. Just as you could not force someone to take care of themselves physically, you also can not force them to take care of their heart and soul, no matter how pure your intentions. The best you can do is to provide the support and unconditional love that will help them make the deicions that are right for them as you maintain a healthy distance that is right for you.

Seeking balance is never easy and there are many opportunities to fall out of equilibrium, many issues of our own that we deal with when watching a loved one. However, the perpetual exercise of returning to center ourselves strengthens our ability to take care of those around us when they need us most.

I think I can honestly say thanks, summer, it was awesome. I’m done. 90+ degrees on the bank sign outside my Bellevue office and it’s only June 3rd. Summer makes me grateful for many things like box fans, gelato, homemade blueberry-mango granitas, cold beer, cool sheets at night, water fountains, sailing, you get the picture..Continue Reading Post Here